Not having to exchange gifts might be the best gift you can give your family and friends.


One Christmas some years ago, my family came to an agreement that made all of us breathe a huge sigh of relief: we agreed to stop exchanging presents.

The truth is, we were headed in that direction anyway. It was getting kind of ludicrous – my brother and I would just ask each other, “what do you want for Christmas?” and order it online for each other. Same with my parents. This minimized hassles and guaranteed we’d like our gifts, but there was no surprise, and really no point in it.

But even worse, I know many people who stress out over the holidays about coming up with gift ideas, shopping for those gifts, and figuring out how to pay for them.

Not having to give gifts was the best gift our family members could give each other. We went ahead and ditched gift-giving for birthdays too.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that maybe it’s time to ditch gift-giving among adults when done just because it’s a holiday. We shouldn’t feel obligated to purchase crappy things just because it’s Christmas or Hanukkah or someone’s birthday.

What if the holidays could become purely times for family, friends, and celebration instead?

Here are some reasons to agree with your friends, co-workers, and family not to exchange gifts during the holidays.

1. Gifts have lower utility than things you buy for yourself

Do any of these situations ring a bell? Have you ever…

  • Hastily chosen a pretty useless gift at the mall because you waited until the last minute?
  • Received a gift that you didn’t really like, or that you never used?
  • Re-gifted something or sold it on eBay?

For me, the answer to these questions is yes, many times!

Studies have shown that gifts have lower utility (usefulness) to the recipient than the equivalent value in cash. How often do we buy some useless trinket as a gift because we couldn’t think of anything better and we ran out of time?  I am guilty!

According to finder.com, 7% of Americans knowingly give unlikable presents, 1 in 2 people dislike at least one gift each holiday, and $16 billion was wasted on unwanted gifts during the 2017 holiday season.

Have you ever received (or given) one of those pre-made gift baskets? You know, they have crackers, cheese, chocolate, and some other stuff nicely displayed in a huge basket. Unpack it all and you end up with some snacks that cost a few dollars and a whole lot of wasted packaging including the basket which you’ll throw away. These are priced anywhere from $40 to $150 and up. Would you rather receive one of these baskets or the equivalent value in cash?

2. Shopping is a pain in the ass during the holidays

Does anyone enjoy going to the mall the week before Christmas?

One of the leading causes of stress around the holidays is finding and purchasing gifts. Often we do it only out of obligation, and we rarely an equal amount of satisfaction from the gifts we receive. If you’re a procrastinator, the amount of stress and hassle is multiplied.

3. Useless gifts contribute to climate change

Many gifts end up as clutter or landfill.  Manufacturing all of this stuff is a huge contributor to climate change!

Let’s not forget about the waste of wrapping paper and ribbons – something enjoyed for maybe a few hours during a birthday party or a few days during Christmas and thrown away.

4. You’ll save money

Perhaps best of all, you and your fellow former gift-givers will save money by not having to buy gifts.


The Exceptions

Before you think I’m a total Grinch, I do think that children should still get Christmas and birthday presents. I wouldn’t want to rob them of the fun I had getting toys as a kid.

Also, I’m still in favor of giving gifts when you find something that the recipient could truly use or appreciate, especially if it’s hard to find or unusual. For a few special people in my life, I’m on the lookout all year long for things that I know they will enjoy. That’s a huge difference from panicking a week before Christmas and hastily grabbing a nick-knack at a department store that they might never use.

What To Do Instead

According to the same article at finder.com, a majority of people, 53.25%, say they most look forward to spending time with family during the holidays, while only 3.25% say they most look forward to receiving gifts.

I’m in favor of giving non-material presents such as giving your time, your expertise, a night at a nice restaurant, a day at a baseball game, or your special home-cooked dish? How about helping someone paint their home? Or fixing up someone’s computer? Or giving them “coupons” for free rides to the airport from you? Or just catching up with someone over coffee?

Or, perhaps best of all, make the holidays a time when you give to the needy, the poor, and the lonely. This was probably the original intention of these traditions!

What About Gift Cards?

Gift cards might seem like a good solution, and I believe they are better than many material gifts purchased last-minute at the mall, but a surprising amount of gift-card value goes unredeemed, which is why businesses promote them so much.  Once, I received a gift card and the store eventually went out of business, leaving me with a $150 gift card that was worthless.

Another annoying thing about gift cards is the inconvenience of having to carry them around everywhere. Or, if you’re like me, you leave them at home and slap your forehead when you’re at the store and don’t have them.

Gift cards can be a useful gift if chosen well, but then why not just give cash? Or, even better, just mutually agree not to exchange gifts at all!

Most People Actually Agree

It turns out, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Seven out of ten Americans would give up gift-giving during the holidays if others gave it up. If you’re one of the majority of Americans who feel this way, maybe it’s time to have a talk with your family and friends who might actually be up for this!

Imagine all of the time, money, and grief that could be saved if we did this!  Not to mention damage to the environment and landfill usage!

Check out some of these articles that agree with me:


What do You Think?

So, do you think it’s time to stop being obligated to give material gifts to adults during the holidays? Am I a total Grinch or is this the way of a more fiscally and environmentally responsible future? Please leave your comments below, yay or nay. – Brian

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